It's been a while.
I feel as though I only just started writing this blog and already I'm falling behind in keeping you up to date on my life and its events.
Lots of things have happened over the past week and as I sit here and write, I'm still trying to think about the best place to start.
I guess the most significant thing to happen to me over the past few weeks is that I've been started on some medication. Last Tuesday, I returned to my psychiatrist, only to tell her that I hadn't had much progress in fighting my OCD over the past two weeks. I believe I had succeeded in leaving my wardrobe door open once, but had still showered three times every night and was still washing my hands three times every time I used the bathroom, as well as using hand sanitiser compulsively throughout the day.
So, it was decided, after much conversing, that I would be started on anti-depressants. This isn't because I'm depressed, though my OCD has resulted in much social isolation as I find myself constantly over thinking when I'm with people. This sometimes results in sadness, because it's just so hard for me. I struggle to understand social situations, gestures as well as often not understanding sarcasm. As a result, I like being alone... a lot. I thrive on it in fact. I've explained all of this to my close friends, about not getting sarcasm and struggling with social rules. I also have a physical sign that occurs when I'm not understanding something people related, which is quite often, that being that my left eye twitches. This is because I am thinking so hard that my head actually starts to hurt, and I guess it just comes out in a twitch. It's kind of helpful though. My close friends know when I'm not understanding something, and they help me to find a joke funny or to explain social situations literally or with numbers, the best ways for me to understand things.
Anywho, the point is, I'm now on medication. I was told that side effects that may occur include headaches, nausea, general sickness, sleep deprivation etc. I've found that I've been experiencing fairly intense headaches and some general sickness, but I've also been sleeping better than what I have been in the past. I don't expect to see a mood change until I've been on them for approximately three weeks, but I am legitimately excited by the prospect that things are going to start changing in my life. The decision to go on medication was an easy one for me. If there is a chance, no matter how small, that something is going to make my OCD back off, I'm willing to take it, no matter the cost. I look forward to seeing things happen in my thoughts, obsessions, and compulsions. I'll keep you all posted.